I've never known how to meditate. I mean really meditate the way Buddhist monks do. I've bought all kinds of fancy yoga clothes and instructional DVD's. I've gone to classes and tried my hardest to really relax and center myself. It's a challenge. I have a scattered mind and I'm always thinking or worrying or fussing. I find it hard to sit down and concentrate on nothing but relaxation. My body always hurts which makes it especially hard to spiritually remove myself from my body. Elizabeth Gilbert talks about this in her book, "Eat Pray Love". It is a practiced talent to be able to truly meditate.
Today, I found my center. I went for an impromptu walk down the road between two fields. I wasn't planning on this walk, so I was wearing ballet slippers, not proper shoes. But I started to walk, the breeze was behind me, almost pushing me down the road. So I walked for miles, for no reason at all. I just wanted to be outside on this perfectly gorgeous day. I climbed up a big hay bale and sat, lotus style. (Lotus style is a yoga position in which you sit with perfect posture, legs crossed. Ya, at least I learned something from those yoga classes!!)
I let my mind drift. I'm not sure if i fell asleep, but I felt lighter, like air. My mind couldn't focus on anything, and I didn't try to make it. I just went with it. It was like floating in water, or being held by someone warm. After a while I snapped out of it, jumped off the bale and slowly walked home, truly happy and whole. Now I know what meditating really is. It's not something you can force, you just have to let it in and let it out. Try it. Really. It's worth it.